Cold Turkey
Geplaatst op 03-07-2026
Categorie: Lifestyle
Hello,
Your advice is AMAZING!
I’ve got a question for you. I just moved to a new city for work, and I don’t know anyone. I’m having an impossible time meeting women because I have no social network — I don’t have any friends to go to bars or clubs with.
You suggest cold-approaching women on the street and in coffee shops in your level 8 eBook, In Your Face: Conquering Awkward Social Interactions with Jimmy Suede, but I just can’t muster the courage to do it. How can I overcome my fear of talking to complete strangers?
Tim from Denver
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Tim!
I feel your pain: I’ve had to relocate a number of times due to work. The windshield repair business can be a fickle meal ticket, and sometimes it’s better to look for greener pastures than to wait for rain.
But I’ve never let my day job affect my career — picking up women. Going out to bars every night in a new city is a piece of cake: Not only can you use being new to town as an icebreaker, but you can be sure that you’re not violating any restraining orders. Women can’t fear your proximity if they’ve never met you, Tim.
I used to be terrible at cold approaches. The only thing scarier to me than talking to a woman I don’t know is talking to a woman that knows me well enough to carry mace in her purse. I was so nervous when approaching a woman once that I began laughing hysterically. I could have recovered, but Eliot had just rescued E.T. from the research facility and the entire movie theater started throwing garbage at me. Those were dark days, my friend
From that point, I began developing a method of cold approaches that I have now almost perfected. My method consists of three stages: Establishing Common Ground (ECG), Extracting Pity (EP), and Instantly Changing Venue (ICV). Following this exact formula in a cold approach scenario will almost always result in a successful pick up. There are variations of the method that deal with specific pick-up hurdles — such as the presence of a boyfriend or the imminent danger of a nuclear holocaust — but I will stick to the basics for this column.
Establishing Common Ground: In order to disarm your target’s defenses, you must convince her that you share an interest with her. If a woman thinks you’re hitting on her in a public place, she’ll immediately label you as a predator. Making a connection with your target, no matter how small or trivial, will camouflage your true intentions. Smoke and mirrors are the foundation of a cold approach.
Extracting Pity: Forcing your target to feel sorry for you will completely cripple her “fight or flight” reflex. Would you run from or attack a wounded puppy that approached you on the street? I might, but most women wouldn’t — and that’s why this method works.
Instantly Changing Venue: Bringing your target to a new location will trigger her internal romantic interest mechanism and fool her brain into thinking she’s on a date. Seduction is all about mind games, Tim. If you give a woman enough reasons to believe that she’s interested in you, her true feelings will become irrelevant.
Here are three field-tested cold approaches that I personally use to seduce women on the street. When using these tactics, speak quickly and don’t pause for breath. This is a sprint, not a stroll.
“Hi. I couldn’t help but notice your earrings. My mother wore earrings — before she was brutally mauled by wild boars, that is. Would you like to grab a coffee at that café over there?”
“I see that you’re quite overweight. Many people consider me overweight. So overweight, in fact, that I’m forced to buy two seats when I fly with certain airlines. Hey, this food court has a Sbarro — can I interest you in a slice of pizza?”
“You’re wearing a baseball cap. What a coincidence — I love sports! I used to play sports all the time until my scabies prevented me from using public showers. That dark alley has ‘great conversation’ written all over it. Care for a chat?”
You have to master cold approaches to reach player status. Anyone can seduce a friend, co-worker, or distant cousin — it only takes persistence and alcohol. Seducing a complete stranger requires the kind of focus and skill that only comes through years of bitter rejection. So hit the pavement, Tim. There’s a woman out there just waiting to shoot you down.